Playing to my vanity/getting honest

So I dug out pictures of me from 5 - 13 years ago, when I was thinner. They serve as a reminder that being thinner IS possible for me. I've been there. I need to stop thinking about myself as a troll, a lumbering beast, a monstrosity. I can do this again. Sure, it's vain. I'm slightly embarrassed that my health, setting a good example for my children, and feeling better don't seem to have done the trick to make me have that mental shift. However, seeing pictures of current self in beach wear and seeing the previous incarnation of the thinner me might just be what I needed. Silly, but I'll take it and run with it any way.

I'm almost at my highest weight again (courtesy of my uncontrolled eating last week). But it's ok. I am at where I am at. I'm done beating myself up, dammit!

I started journaling food again in Fitday. I'm at 1200 calories today and still have to four miles and dinner in (because I don't do well being hungry and I sorta binged on low fat yogurt ice cream over lunch--which will probably end up making me shaky if I don't eat dinner).

I can't be in denial if I journal my consumption. It's there in black and white. Even I, the mistress of denial, cannot refute it.