Undone, unglued, unhinged
I'm freakin out, man (to quote B). I'm totally stressed out. I don't know why. Kibby's on the mend (a cortisone shot does wonders for a 27 year old horse with no appetite). The job is going ok but I'm feeling unsettled. I don't feel like this job plays to my strengths and I don't have the time or bandwidth to really learn what I need to know. And I have two meetings tomorrow that will test my knowledge. And another project due for another client. My office is a mess. So is my closet. I keep waking up in a panic (and not exactly sure over what). And I went waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off program. I'm not working out at all and I miss it.
If I had stayed on I'd be in week six now and about 20 pounds lighter, probably. I'm still down on the scale (not sure how much though). It's getting hotter here and harder to cover up my bulk. I've got nothing to wear and I'm feeling exposed. Maybe that's got as much to do with my current state of mind as anything.
On the bright side, I've got a new supply of product in my closet and the way I'm feeling about myself is motivating (in that I DON'T want to feel this way anymore). So I started back on the Medifast program today. In the spirit of getting back in the groove, I'm going to journal my intake for the next week--ALL OF IT. Nobody but me visits this blog so I can go into all the gory details without worrying about boring anyone but myself.
Here's how today has gone:
- 7:00 a.m. Dutch Chocolate "Shake"
- 10:00 a.m. Medifast PB bar
- 12:30 p.m. Shiiiiit. Already off diet. Get veggie burger and salad at Jack's (the S.O. and the kids wanted to go out for lunch). Eat the delicious bun that comes with the burger. So NOT low carb! Not how you play the game. Not how I planned the day going. And I have one Hershey's Kiss upon arriving home. Dumbass. At least tomorrow it's just me home alone working.
- Five Diet Cokes between
- 1 glass water at 7 a.m.
posted by -Mommy Tsunami @ 11:34 AM
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