Should be running out of excuses any day now...

O.M.G. WTF?!?!? What is wrong with me? I dump $300 on product and then just don't follow the program? Why am I defeating myself? Why do I want to continue to feel like crap about myself? What purpose is food serving me?

Ate SO much yesterday--subway, spaghetti, and about a cubic foot of birthday cake (only a minor exaggeration).

Today had one griller this a.m. followed by about 3/4 cup of PB. At 3:30 I am calling this stupid, self-defeatist game I'm playing with myself.

I want to run marathons again.

I want to feel pretty again.

I want to feel like a woman again.

I want more energy.

I want my clothes to fit.

I want my kids and my husband to be proud of me (rather than embarrassed of me).

I want to focus on things other than my weight.

I want my frickin confidence back.

I want to feel free again.