Stressed Out Mess

I'm struggling on so many levels right now...I'm stressed. I'm depressed. I'm anxious. I'm almost 40 and I feel like I am going through a second adolescence. I feel awkward, unsure, and unworthy. Working from home may not be working out for me so much. Ya think?

But while I'm here, I've decided to bite the bullet, so to speak. I'm going to try a meal replacement plan called Medifast. Low calorie. Low-decision making required. Low activity required. Should fit my lifestyle and my work situation right now. I hope my kids don't get any weird ideas about eating. I hope my metabolism doesn't suffer. I hope I can get my act together long enough to make some real progress. Nothing fits. I am sick of feeling unattractive. I am sick of not wanting to see old friends and coworkers because I am embarrassed.

The program promises an average of 2-4 lbs/week loss. Using the beach vacation as a goal, I stand to lose between 44 and 88 pounds (if the 2-4 lbs/week holds true). That works out for my weight to be roughly between 122 and 166 pounds by beach time if I stick to the program. My realistic end goal is 145-150. The start of this journey is soooooooo overdue!

The stuff is supposed to arrive tomorrow. If it does, I start with a weigh in on Tuesday and will post again then.

Things will get better.

-M