my. oh. my.

i SO frighten myself. here i am more than a year down the road since i started the blog THIRTEEN pounds heavier. I've topped out at 211, almost my highest weight ever. this morning i was 208 (208 in 2008!). let's hope not for much longer.

I can blame lots of things: high stress level, a tendency to overeat, slow metabolism, working 50-60 hours a week at my new job, taking care of twin three year olds, getting sick every other week from taking care of three year olds, a less than supportive relationship...but the cause doesn't really so much matter so much as the reality. i remain little miss muffin top. fat momma. unhappy wife. someone i don't recognize and i don't particularly like.

my history does seem to be my destiny. at least for now.

i joined a 24 hour gym and started a low carb diet a few weeks ago. i started to hit the gym hard but fell sick a few days after. i go back tomorrow come hell or high water.

btw, i did attempt the marathon--but along with thousands of others, i dropped out early when i got sick from the extreme heat in chicago this year. i started out too fast and they ran out of water at the second aid station. i stopped at a gas station for gatorade/water and came out just as the sag wagon was passing. i made it to about the eleven mile mark before being overcome by pain up my back, my achilles tendons (still an issue), lightheadedness, and nausea. they stopped the race about thirty minutes after i dropped out. so i did a half-mary in denver the following weekend--and it snowed at the start and rained throughout. i just couldn't win this year.

sayonara 2007. herro 2008. be good to me and i will be good to you.