Total loss to date: 4 lbs

Weighed in today at 204 after one week back on WW in earnest. All I really did differently was log my points and get sick with tonsillitis. I'm thinking both contributed greatly.

I didn't log points for the days I got sick initially (I went down hard with fever, body aches, headache, shivering, chills, etc.). I didn't think I ate much of anything those days. After Kristine (my uber-successful WW pal) chastised me, I retroactively logged them. I was under points both those days but only by five!

In Kristine's defense, she didn't realize how ill I was. But it was a great reality check. I need to log my points.

Motivation

Had a great lunch with a friend who has lost 30 lbs on weight watchers. It's taken her longer than she expected (she started in the spring) but she looks AMAZING. She looked so little--when I looked at her it made me think how I wanted to be there.

And it reminded me of my "mile by mile" strategy for the marathon. I've been thinking about losing the weight in 10 lb increments. I need to think smaller and celebrate every loss--they are steps in the right direction.

Tomorrow I will weigh in. Gonna try to hit the treadmill before the kids get up. It's not going to happen otherwise. There's a risk they'll get up and interrupt my workout but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

Just a little note to self...

Fat Mommy

Well, it finally happened. My four-year-old daughter called me out on my size.

In the past, both kids have pulled up my shirt to tickle me, or pushed on my flab. But there has never been any comment. Just a lot of laughter. It's allowed me to continue thinking I still had time to get it right before they noticed.

Saturday we were in a Noodles restroom and as she was sitting on the toilet seat, she said "Fat Mommy." My heart sank. She giggled and then said, "Fat Daddy" (he's not). "Fat Ella". "Fat Paper Towel". She laughed uproariously. Did she see the look on my face when she said "Fat Mommy?" Was trying to cover her tracks? Are four-year-olds capable of that level of recognition and empathy?

Every day I start out with the best of intentions. Today I was looking forward to working out--hard. My "broken" toe is on the mend and I was going to head outside in the lovely 50 degree weather we're having. Instead, my son duped me into letting his stay home claiming he was sick (he clearly wasn't and spent much of the day bouncing off the walls while I tried to work).

Today I ate a reasonable breakfast (two Morningstar Farms breakfast patties), had a reasonable snack (mozzarella) and a reasonable lunch (a 4-point WW quesadilla). It was the three WW desserts I could have done without.

I haven't yet exercised. I haven't drank any water. I know I need to do these things.

I'm mindless eating. I keep thinking I'll start tomorrow. Today is tomorrow. I am logging everything. For one week, I commit to logging everything and blogging every day.

Of course I can do this.

Targeting 200

Baby steps.

I have been eating like mad lately. I joined WW more than a week ago and I have yet to:

1. Stay anywhere near my target points for the day
2. Log all my points for one entire day

Cause and effect. I am not fooling anyone. I'm sad. I hate my job. I am slacking. I know it.

I am horrible at finding time to plan but very accomplished at procrastinating.

I am going to keep getting back up despite the misteps. I am tough. I frickin marathon (fat!) for chrissake!