Reasons and Rewards

Restarted WW today mid-day (vegetarian on core)...for posterity, here are my reasons for wanting to do this and my planned rewards.

The reason's I wanted to lose weight in the first place? I want...

• to be around for a long, long time.
• to be a good example for my kids.
• to feel attractive again.
• to have more energy.
• to have clothes that fit.
• to focus on things other than my weight.
• to run marathons faster.
• to not dread seeing old friends again.
• to get my flipping confidence back.
• to feel free again.

Mini Goals & Rewards
200 = massage
190 = pedicure
180 = something from title9sports
170 = something from Ann Taylor Loft
160 = massage
150 = GOOOOOAAAAAAAALLL! Reinvestment in lingerie & shopping spree at Ann Taylor Loft

Reposting things that have, should, or can motivate me to lose.

Things that have motivated my sorry self in the past…

• Evil frat boy making pig noises as I filled up my car with gas. When I turned around, he said, “That’s right, fatazz, I’m talking to you.” (I was about fifteen pounds more than I weigh now and fifteen years younger. I seriously hope Karma has bitten him squarely in the butt.)
• Fitting into cute little black sweater with jeans
• Revenge fantasy of seeing my old boyfriend and having no interest in him (*this one is one fantasy that DID come true and to my surprise I no longer cared)
• My wedding
• Beachwear

Things that should have motivated me last year but didn’t…

• 20^th high school reunion (I didn’t go but I was running a marathon the next day and wasn't sure I'd resist "just one" drink)
• Running and FINISHING the marathon I dropped out of last year due to heat sickness (I did finish in 2008 despite not losing the weight)
• Upcoming beach vacation (waddled through it instead)
• Prospect of seeing old friends (they’re still friends, no matter what my weight)
• My health (being a vegetarian and active has kept me healthy, but I just know I’m living on borrowed time)
• My kids (I want to be around for a long, long time and set a good example)

Things I’m hoping will motivate me this time around…

• My health
• My kids
• Feeling free, light, and happier
• Running faster
  
• Shopping spree at goal

Reminder of Why I Want to Do This...

I’m mentally prepping myself to get rolling on the Weight Watchers program. I wrote this blog after briefly returning to Medifast a month ago. But it applies just the same to WW.

I had a few epiphanies while taking a break from my weight loss efforts to train for a marathon. Many of them came immediately after I went off program; some came to me WHILE I was out on that marathon course (I was out there for a really, really long time).

• This shouldn’t have been that difficult for me. The food isn’t going to be what I’m accustomed to eating—but eating what I’m accustomed to eating is what got me here in the first place.
• I’ll never feel truly ready. But I can gut it out.
• I let myself off the hook too easily. I really struggled with staying on the Medifast program and as a result, wasn't as successful as I could have been. Having to cook for my family presented me with a lot of temptation. I felt deprived. I felt sorry for myself. I chose to let myself slip up. However, there were SO many times during training when I realized how much easier my race would be if I was just a bit lighter, if I had just been a little stronger—I chose what to put in my mouth and I have control over it. It does not control me.
• I am a lot stronger than I think. When I started the marathon, I wasn’t confident I could finish. They were predicting that the temperatures were going to climb into the mid eighties, and I dropped out last year midway through when I got heat sick (the temperatures climbed into the mid nineties). Your history is not your destiny.
• Taking it one meal at a time actually DOES make sense. I never really got that before. This year, instead of focusing on how long it was going to take me to cross the finish line. I focused on getting from one mile to the next. By the time I hit mile twenty, I knew I was going to make it. Focus on the journey, not the destination. Take it one day at a time.
• OF COURSE I can do this.

Switching horses in midstream

Well, I discontinued Medifast last week due to some medical issues while on program (diverticulitis/cyst flare up) . I'm feeling much better physically off but I still have this tub o' goo to lose.

As when I discontinued before, I went into this carb feeding frenzy. It didn't help that I had Halloween candy left over and my kids birthday party shortly thereafter.

So, I restarted Weight Watchers. Again. I'm trying core and we'll see how my unimaginative vegetarian butt does with that. It's definitely going to require more planning on my part, but I think it's a program I can live with. :-)